Ever seen the movie Yes Man where the main character, played by Jim Carrey says yes to every single request for a period of time throughout the movie? [Spoiler Alert] It takes him to places he has never been before, he takes more risks and definitely lives a much more exciting life than he was before and even begins to make more money than before. Along the way, he meets a girl that he falls madly in love with due to his consistent “yes’s” to any option presented to him. Throughout the whole fiasco and come through the climax of the movie, Jim Carrey starts to have things go really south the more things he says yes to because they start to get him in trouble with his love, and his friendly relationships. In the end, he learned that by saying yes to things out of your comfort zone can lead to potential exciting circumstances, but only there is potential for good fortune to arise out of it. If you say yes to anything and everything, you lose out on doing other things, and you can also negatively affect your life when it’s truly not the right things to say yes to.
Knowing when to be a yes-man and when to be a no-man is basically called being a good decision maker. How do you do that?
Throughout our daily lives, there are numbers of experiences that occur regularly day in, and day out that are not really too exciting, too necessary, and sometimes, can be a waste of time. Saying yes to things that you normally wouldn’t say yes to can lead to opportunities that would have been missed out on. For example: Let’s say that you are the type of person who likes to watch a special reality television show every Thursday at 6 o’clock in the evening. Since this is a time that is regularly after work for most people, often will leave work and get home in time to settle in and watch your hour show. This Thursday, your coworker who is a good acquaintance of years asks to go out for drinks after work on Thursday, at the same time as your reality tv show. What do you do? Do you say yes to the coworker and no to your reality show, or no to your coworker and yes to the reality tv show. The television show is really a waste of your time and there isn’t much to gain out of it, and drinks with your coworker has the potential for an experience that is unlike something you have done before, the opposite of watching the reality television show. Hanging out with your coworker could create a positive relationship between the two of you and set you both up to bond and create a friendship outside of work. There could also be something unexpected to happen when you are out for drinks and the potential for an absolute different experience unlike nothing you have had before. Watching the television show, only so much can be expected out of that.
Knowing when is the time to say yes, and when is the time to say no is a very highly valued skill, but it takes practice to actually pick up when is a good time to say yes, and when is a good time to say no. Some people have problems with saying one more frequently than the other.
Someone who says yes all of the time, may have a problem getting the necessary tasks complete with their life and be living a hectic month to month. While they may be having fun month in and month out, they are behind on their bills, and they know they have the potential to be in a better circumstance than they are if they said no to their friends more frequently and skipped a night at the bar or an expensive vacation away.
Someone who says no all the time may have a problem being social and having a group of friends. By saying no to their friend’s requests, they have missed exciting opportunities and lived their life full of regret knowing there were times where if they said yes to something, they could be in a much better life today.
Being a yes man or being a no man can bring you to good times, and bad times, but having a balance between when to say no and when to say yes builds intuition within you and will help your decision making in the future. With a good portfolio of times you have said yes and times you have said no and when they have turned out positive and negative will help you better gauge proper choice making in the future.